REVIEW DATE:8:22:9:9
Maybe I should be using the space this review will take up to write about some unknown, forgotten picture that one of you, the Beautiful People, might wander past, forever deaf to the entertainment value that awaited you.
Maybe I should. But I won't. I need this movie. I need it like a drug addict needs his fix. I need it like Godzilla needs nuclear energy. I need it like Bill Clinton needs oral sex. I require this movie to wash the malignant taste of that other Batman from my system forever. After this review is done, I shall forever dust of my hands and forget the whole thing, pausing only to think of it when I'm making some off color comment or easy joke about it. Like I've done with Armageddon and Batman and Robin.
Gotham City is a place plagued with crime. In the opening scenes, two muggers do their thing to a tourist family taking a not-all-that-thought-out side trip down an ally. The muggers then take sanctuary on a local roof, counting their ill-gotten gains. One recounts to his partner the strange stories he's been hearing. Stories of known hoods being taken apart by a mysterious creature he calls "the bat". His partner, ever the street hardened cynic, dismisses these tails as urban legend. You can imagine how red his face is when that same urban legend drops out of the sky and proceeds to express mail a package of Whoop Ass to both criminals.
Prologue concluded, I sat in my chair thinking, Man, this is gonna be sweet!
For once, I was right. It happens to the best of us.
Kicking off the plot is Jack Napier (Jack Nicholson), a dastardly inforcer for Gotham's Numero Uno crime boss, Carl Grissom (Jack Palance). He also happens to be knocking boots with Grissom's girl. A fact that "Boss Grissom" is all too aware, and none too happy, of.
Meanwhile, in the city, reporter Alex Knox and Vicki Vale (Robert Wuhl and Kim Basinger, respectively) trying to get an angle on this mysterious Batman that keeps pooping up. Unfortunatly, no city official is very eager to talk about a 6 foot-tall bat. Fortunately, every city official will be hanging out an a charity ball run by local rich weirdo, Bruce Wayne (Michael Keaton). Once there, Vicki meets Wayne and so our Love Story begins. Sorta.
"Sorta" because, two scenes latter, it's time for some more action, revealing what everyone who lives in the culture already knows: Bruce Wayne is Batman. Seams Napier, in an attempt to cover his boss man's tracks, has broken into a local chemical plant Grissom uses as a front. Ratted out by his double crossing employer, Napier finds himself caught between the cops and the Batman. After confronting the masked vigilante, Napier accidentally catches a bullet in the face and falls into a vat of acid.
End of villain, right? Wrong. Dripping his way to a local plastic surgeon (the one I mentioned in Dante's Peak) Jack, in a nicely bitter end to the ordeal, gets his face stitched back together into an insane leer. Now, permanent grin affixed to his face, his mind (which was a few tacos short of a Grandé Meal already) finally throws up it's hands and goes, "Screw you, pal, I'm out of here."
Totally batty (you saw that one coming, so don't come groaning to me) Jack takes on a new persona, that of the Joker, kills Grissom and proceeds to take over Grissom's interests, becoming top dog in the underworld. Once there he embarks on a campaign of city wide poisoning, much to the chagrin of Batman and the city fathers.
Of course, Bruce has his own problems. You try to make a relationship work when you dress up in black body armor and go kick ass every night. Plus, just to make things interesting, what if your girl was constantly on the brink of figuring out that you dressed up in black body armor and kicked ass every night? Not the most stable foundation, no?
It doesn't really matter because this love story and Vicki's quest for Batman's identity is subservient to the main plot . . . and that's just the way it ought to be. Every movie and it's rip-off seams to think that a Love Story is the easiest way to (a) pad a movie and (b) force some character development. Batman uses the story for both purposes, but, unlike lesser movies, it manages to pull both off and not annoy me with a love story's inherent triteness. Both Vicki and Bruce are good characters with good actors fleshing them out; one of the best scenes in the movie comes when Bruce tries to confess his other life to Vicki. The comedy of that scene alone is worth the price of admission.
Did I mention that the jokes are actually funny? Instead of exploiting the humorous side of the Joker and turning him into nothing more then extra flashy Odious Comic Relief, writers Sam Hamm and Warren Skaaren turn this character into a total psychopath. What a great roll for a guy like Nicholson. For the first time, instead of reigning himself in to try and be normal (see the first hour of The Shinning) Jacky lets go from the get go, turning the Joker into the most twisted mad man since . . . well . . .
When you talk about Batmen, no one before, or since, has come close to doing what Michael Keaton does with this character. His Batman is driven, dark, striking fear through silence and mystery. He uses his status as urban legend to sneak up on people, catching them off guard and delivering some swift justice. This is a Batman I would be scared off, this is a Batman I wouldn't want to cross. This is a Batman that strikes fear in the hearts of evil doers. And, more importantly, this is a Bruce Wayne that's actually human.
Yes, for all the great stuff Keaton does as Bats, he does even better stuff as Wayne. Bruce Wayne has always been a unique character from my POV. He must put on a mask of normality, while, at the same time, putting on a mask of the Bat each night. Keaton's Wayne struggles to start something with Vicki, while fighting crime each night as well. That dichotomy is what I love about this character, and this movie.
If you haven't guessed by now, I love Batman as I love few other movies. If you haven't seen it, then you've missed a great ride. Excellent action, excellent characters, and the dark fingerprints of director Tim Burton all over it. Great stuff for all ages of comic book fans to enjoy until the VCR dies.
RATING (OUT OF A POSSIBLE FIVE)
Parallel thinking: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly