# 12: Surf: Thoughts on the Web
by Incendia Leahman
When I can't sleep at night I surf the web.
Only insomniacs and the mentally disturbed know what it is to truly surf. To wander aimless around a world wide web, clicking banners and links that promise wisdom, enlightenment and porn at high quality through a 28 bit modem.
Wandering through the electronic advertising and desperate cries for companionship through a cold keyboard I wonder who is truly more pathetic- the people who take time to write and design this stuff.... or the people who read it.
Page after page offering and asking advice on everything from computer hacking to love making. One webmaster boasting the knowledge with electronic promises to back it up. The hit counter climbs and climbs. People wanting to know what to do before they try. Asking for an interaction book to life. Fuck heads.
Chat room after chat room of lonely people trying to get off with words. Or if they are particularly niece, an actual relationship. Long distance relationships formed with types "I love you's" and e-cards. Too chicken shit to go out in the real world with flesh and people, they settle with screwing a chat screen.
Banner after fucking banner offering to solve your problems, make you rich, make you beautiful and attractive- only a click away. Come on, it's free, and hell only a fucking click away.
Porn. Lots of porn. The hidden recesses of the information superhighway that is lined with hookers of the worse sort. The kind where you can look but not touch... unless you count yourself.
The internet tells us that you can learn, do and be anything. Buy, sell and trade everything on Ebay including your god-forsaken soul. Hug, kiss, marry, fuck, write, read and I'm anyone.
The internet is the medium for the filth of our dark sides, the fornication of advertising and brain washing, and the chance for crime to breed of the most devious source.
God bless this net.
Ms. Leahman is a partner in arms here at And You Thought It Was Safe. She is currently working on her first novel and trying to get Doc Psy to stop pestering her for a movie review.
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