While
surfing this Web of ours over the weekend, I ran across something interesting. Seems the
B-masters Cabal is having another one of those mystical, round robin review sessions (say that
one 5 times fast). And this time, their multiple red eyes would be turned on the films of
none other, but the king himself, Godzilla.
You see, Toho studios, smelling money, has started up its great Godzilla Machine once again. The latest installment, Godzilla 2000, will hit American shores around mid-August. The Master's ("Maximize!") timing couldn't be better.
I'm not part of the B-Master's Cabal. (At least, not that I'm aware of. Feel free to correct me on this one, guys. Guys?) I think you have to have suffered through B-fest . . . or use the word "Deanzilla" in a sentence . . . or swear a blood oath to Jabootu . . . or do . . . something. I don't know. All I know is, I stole the name of my site off the back of a Godzilla movie, so I'll be damned if I sit this one out.
Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster (#7 in the series), marked a radical shift in The Way Things Were Done. The kickass team of director Ishiro Honda, special-effects master Eiji Tsuburaya and musician Akira Ifukube split apart and went there separate ways. Needing a Godzilla movie for the year 1966, Toho appointed director Jun Fukuda to helm Godzilla's 7th outing.
The movie begins with Ryota (Toru Watanabe), our Designated Hero. For two months, Ryota's brother, Yata has been missing at sea. Desperate to rescue his brother, Ryota drags his two friends, Nita (Hideo Sunazuka) and Ichino (Chotaro Togin) down to the docks for a bit of late night theft. Finding a boat (the Yalen) with a man aboard (named Yoshimura, played by Akira Takarada) who allows them to stay the night (for some damn reason), Ryota seizes the day and sets the Yalen free.
After a few weeks/months/whatever of drifting aimlessly (Nita and Ichino must be really good friends not to complain about this little act of kidnapping and all), and getting to know the boat's "owner", Yoshimura (who carries around a toy rifle, a mysterious briefcase, and gets extremely peeved when he hears about a bank robbery on the boats one radio . . . hmmm, ya think he could be . . . oh, I don't know, a bank robber?) the boat encounters a freak storm and a giant lobster claw.
Fortunately, our four survivors wash up on a supposedly deserted island. But, after some exploration, they discover a shady terrorist organization (which is never named in my copy of the movie) has set up a base on the island. The giant lobster, named Ebirah, serves as their low-tech security system. And, while the monster will attack any boat that comes to the island, the Terrorists have mastered the secret of Ebirah B Gone™, a yellow liquid that will keep the creature at bay.
After hooking up with one of the native girl, Daiyo (Kumi Mizuno, last seen in Godzilla vs. Monster Zero) whose people are being used by the Evil Terrorists to manufacture Ebirah B Gone™, our heroes seek shelter in a cave . . . only to discover the sleeping form of Godzilla. Apparently, the Big Guy had the same idea.
We also discover the Daiyo and all her people come from Infant Island, home to everyone's favorite giant bug. No, not Bill Clinton, I'm talking about Mothra. (who's become a moth again since hir last appearance in Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster). Wanna bet Mothra will arise to save hir people?
Trapped, hunted, and running out of options, Our Heroes decide to throw a giant, black, scaly wrench into the Terrorists plan (whatever that is). Rigging up a lightning rod, they shock Godzilla awake, so we can finally get to the Kaiju Big Battle.
Written by series regular Shinichi Sekizawa, Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster began life as a King Kong movie, and it shows. Godzilla is found in a cave, with no apparent entrance large enough for him to fit through (Offscreen Teleportation). He's revived by lighting, just as Kong was in King Kong vs. Godzilla, and Godzilla shows a passing interest in Daiyo. All leading me to believe that, instead of writing a new script, Toho took the existing script and replaced Kong's name with Godzilla's. Just show's ya how much they cared, doesn't it?
The suit used here continues the "humanizing" of Godzilla's features. With a short, rounded snout, bad teeth, vacant eyes, much to much excess bulk (especially obvious when he sits down), and an obviously sad condition, I can't say that this is one of my favorite suits of the series. At least, not without a few drinks in me.
Among fans, Ebirah is considered to be one of G's weakest opponents. And it's pretty obvious why. I mean, come on, he may be Captain D's worst nightmare, but he's hardly a match for the Big Guy. Their two battles last barely 10 minuets each, and Godzilla wins both rounds. Big surprise.
Oh, and I almost forgot, there are humans in this movie too. But of them, only Akira Takarada gets to do any real acting. His bank robber (and he is such a bank robber, though he's asked the question 7 times during the flick), who learns to be a human being is the only real character in the movie. Hell, he's almost (shudder) charismatic.
With more cheese in it then your average Derry Frame, this is not a movie I'd recommend for the casual Giant Rubber Monster Movie Watcher. The plot is full of holes (of all the secret bases, on all the islands in the South Pacific they had to wash ashore on that one), the story is incoherent, and many of the elements that made previous G-movies fun (massive city destruction, a planet wide threat, a monster that's actually a challenge) were phased out due to budget cuts.
But if you don't care about that, if you just like seeing Godzilla wrestle with strange giant creatures, then feel free.
