REVIEW DATE: 11:28:9:9
Little Shop of Horrors is another one of those movies. Movies no one would dare give awards to that have never the less sown themselves into our culture. Everybody and their love child knows about Seymour Krelborn and the Audrey 2. After its first incarnation (as tonight's movie), the story went on to become a hit Broadway musical and 1986 movie. Don't worry, I'll get to that one, too. But first. . .
When asked about Little Shop you probably think of a big, Venus flytrap shouting, "Feed me!" That's fine. However, the picture in your head is more then likely from the 1986 version of this movie. That version stared Rick Moranis. That version has Levi Stubbs as the voice of the plant. And, more importantly, that version had some entertainment value.
Gravis Mushnick (Mel Welles) is a florist on Skid Row. He sells flowers in the poorest part of town. Why anyone would be stupid enough to open a flower shop in Skid Row is beyond me, but, hey, who asked for logic in a Roger Corman movie? Did you ask for logic in a Roger Corman movie? Well then, you obviously have no idea what you're talking about.
Anyway, Mushnick is a florist and business sucks. He can't pay his coworkers or his bills. Of course, neither of his coworkers has a brain, so why should they get paid? I mean, look at this. On the one hand, we have Seymour Krelborn (Jonathan Haze), who acts like a cross between Forest Gump and Barney Fife. "I didn't mean it," is his motto. Then we have Audrey (Jacky Joseph) who acts like . . . women are supposedly suppose to act in the late 50s - early 60s: like her brain got washed, even though the label clearly read "dry clean only."
Anyway, business sucks and Seymour is an idiot. Mushnick is about to give his lobotomized ass the old heave hoe. But wait, Seymour has this weird new plant he's developed. A weird plant might bring people into the shop, maybe actually scaring up some business. Okay, Seymour has one week for his plant to turn business around or both of them are out in the street.
Of course, we both know Seymour discovers that the plant thrives on blood. After giving it some of his own blood, it becomes healthy and fit. After killing someone (oh, he didn't mean it) he uses the plant to get rid of the body and it grows 4 times larger overnight. After killing his psychopathic dentist, Seymour feeds him to the plant, too. All of this is complicated by the fact that we don't know or care about any of these people. And Seymour is so . . . damn . . . annoying!
Eventually, Russian Stereotype, er, Mushnick discovers what the plant is and what it eats. Taking matters into his own hands, Russian-- Mushnick decides to stay up with Audrey Jr. while Seymour has a date with Audrey Sr. He ends up using the plant to dispose of a robber, show us just what kind of amoral capitalist he is. What would his comrades think?
Seymour is about to get an award from some flower observer's society for developing the plant. On the day of the award, all of the plant's bulbs open reviling the faces of the dead. Two Dragnet cops are on the scene, and begin to chase Seymour in a pointless chase which ends with Seymour back at the shop. He confronts the plant and climbs into its bulb intent on whacking some weeds. This shows just how stupid he is as the plant eats him up. In the movie's final scene, a bulb opens with Seymor's head inside. The head, of course, proclaims that he "didn't mean it." Fat lot of good it does you now, kid.
Now look at this. Here I go and review a good Roger Corman movie and look what happens. Damn! I knew I was pushing my luck. But there he it is. "Produced and Directed by Roger Corman." I can only thank God he didn't write it.
Instead Charles B. Griffith wrote it, and gave the Audrey 2 (well, Audrey Jr. here) its voice. Now, Levi Stubbs had one of those great, clean voices. Levi Stubbs could sound evil. Charles Griffith sounds like a tax collector who's had too much coffee to drink. Or an annoying New York City cab driver. Of course, Griffith is speaking in a falsetto when he talks as the plant. When he uses his real voice to play a burglar, he's actually kind of funny. Of course, then he gets eaten by the plant, so there goes that spark of entertainment.
There's the thing. This movie doesn't give you entertainment, but little sparks of it, sprinkled lightly like a fine garnish.
Seymour is an annoying little scrub. And he still gets Audrey. I have no sympathy for him at all. He's to dumb to be sympathetic. He commits his first murder in an idiotic accident and feels no remorse. Then, halfway through the movie, his conscience suddenly gets back from vacation for 2 minuets of screen time before it decides to go visit family in Florida, allowing Seymour to kill again.
Audrey is . . . vapid.
Mushnick is . . . Russian. Despite getting some of the best lines ("I got to get drunk, now! Help you could not.") I don't feel anything for this guy, either. He uses the plant to kill and make money.
Just what the hell was Griffith thinking when he wrote this? Did he just forget to put in a sympathetic character while he was trying to make this thing a comedy?
Oh, did I forget to mention that Shop is supposed to be a comedy? Surprised? Yes, the back of its box calls it a "dark comedy". Funny thing is (get it? I got this whole pun thing going on) that the only part of this movie I find even remotely funny is Jack Nicholson's scene. Yes, he is indeed in this movie, punching the clock in a bit part. He plays a masochistic dental patient who comes to a masochistic dentist. Isn't it nice how these souls find each other? However, Seymour has killed said dentist and has to perform the operation himself. So we have whinny little Seymour drilling away on Jack Nicholson. Funny, right? Right? No, I didn't really think so, either. But I have to find something positive about this movie.
Wait a second there was that scene . . . oh, no, wait. Sorry, false alarm.
Gs (out of a possible five)
MOCK O' METER
