The Evil Thought
In the introduction to his video companion, Roger Ebert can be quoted as saying "This book is by no means comprehensive."
Well Roger, that's half the problem. You can't have an incomplete guide of movies. Would you print an incomplete encyclopedia? No. A non comprehensive dictionary? Certainly not. So why not print a comprehensive guide of movies and videos?
And so, out of this thought process, was born And You Thought It Was Safe. If Roger Ebert won't print a comprehensive guide of movies then I guess it's up to me. I here by dedicate my web site to movies, and I will not stop until I have reviewed every movie ever made.
What'd he say?
I know what you're saying. You're saying "You're MAD!" or something darn close to it. Well, yah. So? I'm a mad man who likes movies. All movies, be they western, sci-fi, action, or Chinese cinema (well . . . maybe not Chinese cinema) and I have more free time then I know what to do with. I'm the perfect candidate for this job.
Okay, now you're wondering why you should even bother to bookmark my site when there are hundreds of sites dedicated to reviewing movies, some of which have hundreds more reviews then I could ever hope to have. But I invite you to examine those hundreds of "reviews". You'll find that they are, at most, 3 or four lines of poorly written text with a star rating beside them. I, on the other hand, will give you a full breakdown of the movie, its good points, and bad points, all with a plot synapses. Then I'll give it a rating, which I call a "G" for obvious reasons.
What's more, many of the other sites only review new releases. I however want to achieve a mix of reviews. Some with be reviews of the movies that you have heard of and some will be about the movies you haven't. I may review new releases as they come to video but mostly I want to review the kinds of movies you always wondered about, but where afraid to rent for fear of wasting 90 minuets of your life and 5 bucks of your cash. I feel your pain, dude, so I'll screen the movies and filter out the crap for you. And if a movie has a rating of 3 Gs or higher you can be assured that it won't be a waste of time.
Got a suggestion? Email me that bastard my way.
Credit where its due
My thanks to Dr. Freex, owner and operator of The Bad Movie Report for his help during this page's construction. And to the good people who've hosted this site over the years: Warner Brothers and Geocities. Geo, you may be evil, but I won't hold it against you. And special thanks to Saint-in-Training Nathan Shumate, for being twisted enough to host my site. For free!
I plan to update this site at least once a week, sometimes more, and I'll keep doing this until I run out of movies, or until reviewing movies just isn't fun. Whichever comes first.
Dr. Psy Chosis
January 22, 1999
(with a few revisions and updates since then)