REVIEW DATE: 12:16:9:9
The voice in my head is talking again.
Give it up, it says. It's Christmas vacation! Every sane website has shut down. Come on; pack it in, boy. Enough of this silly quest. Eat your Christmas dinner.
No, I say. After all, this thing right here is a classic. From our favorite decade here at AYTIWS, the 1950s!
The following might sound a bit hypocritical after the (well-disserved) thrashing I
gave 
The Time Machine. But, darn it, I like this
version of War of the Worlds because (though it's even further from its book
then Machine) it integrates the changes well. And, above all, doesn't ruin
everything with a touchy feely ending showing how superior 20th century man is.
You know all that stuff you hear about the planet Mars, with its poisonous atmosphere and sub-sub--zero temperatures, being incapable of supporting even microbes, to say nothing about intelligent life? Well, that was all bullshit. Mars has life and Mars needs women. Oh, wait, that's another movie.
No, Mars needs a planet. While we got the "intelligent life" part wrong, a narrator (Alfred Hitchcock, if you ask me) tells us we hit a home run with the "crappy climate". Fed up with their crappy planet, the Martians turn to Earth despite the fact that the differences between the 2 planets would fill an encyclopedia.
Am I being cynical? Yes. Point?
So, when we drift close enough, Mars bombards us with huge meteors. One lands in a southern California community which, conveniently, is where our main characters are: scientist Clayton Forrester (Gene Barry, who looks drunk) and Ditz (Ann Robinson).
"Ditz" isn't her real name, but I'd have to be interested enough to use it. She's the typical 50's woman: she cooks, cleans, runs around in high heels and smiles when patronized. Plus she lives with her uncle the town priest, so she's probably a virgin, too.
On second thought, her name is Sylvia.
Anyway, the Martians pop up in their flying war machines, heat rays blazing. Totally invulnerable to human weapons (we even try to nuke 'um back to whatever age Mars was in while we were in the Stone Age), they blast cities left and right. Will humanity survive?
Will you enjoy this movie?
Maybe. It all depends. If you've come for acting, tough. Like I said, Sylvia is a ditz
and Forrester seams perpetually drunk. Plus he mumbles in a scratchy voice. It's like he's
trying to be Lance Henriksen before Lance 
Henriksen was Lance
Henriksen. All the other extras walk through their rolls shocked, shocked, that
humanity could get such an ass whuppin.
Good parts come, though. The SPFX look shockingly good for 1953. The War Machines, and the miniature sets the fly around, look expertly built. Buildings seam to have internal structure. What more could a sci-fi fan ask? Let the destruction begin.
As aliens go, these are very nice. Though not as scary as the Alien(s) of the 70s or as stupid as their brethren of the 50s, these Martians manage to look cool and realistic, without looking campy. Name another 50s movie that boasts that! (And no fair asking Dr. Freex.)
Unlike other botched H.G. Wells movies, War of the Worlds takes the basic story and then places it in modern times, rather then injecting modern times into the basic story. Are you taking notes, Hollywood people?
Yeah, right. Am I dreaming, or what?
